prolapse

if i do go through with my egg donation, i'll be able to be a parent, with minimal physical discomfort. sure, the procedure still hurts, but it's nothing like pregnancy and childbirth. i mean, the chances for a vaginal prolapse are next to nil with egg donation.

don't get me wrong--there are women who are fine after giving birth. but i really don't want to take chances with my vagina.

what makes vaginal prolapses so scary? why does it scare some women into choosing a ceasarean section instead?

i've never seen a vagina sag right out of a woman's cunt. but that's exactly what happens to some mothers right after birth. with some women, it's their uterus that gets pushed out after birth...like a sock turned inside out, i hear.

i'm a very small person. aside from my fear of turning into a fatass, i don't want to push a kid that will rip my pussy to shreds either. and that's just the tip of the iceberg. you know what else can happen during and after childbirth? rectal prolapse. you read that right. that's when the inside of your rectum sags right out of your asshole.

and you thought weight gain and a shredded pussy was bad. dying doesn't sound so bad compared to a collapsed asshole. i mean, how the fuck do you live after something like that? how the hell do you function?

these are my reasons for being steadfastly prochoice. the way i see it, how the hell can anybody compel anybody to live with a prolapsed asshole or vagina just because they got pregnant? oh sure, abortion takes away a life, but what about pregnancies where twins start out, but the stronger twin cannibalizes the weaker twin, like what occurs in fetus in fetu? let me tell you--nature is very messy. it's pretty brutal. many singleton births started out as twin pregnancies...but in the womb, the greedy fetus will kill their twin and absorb him or her to monopolize the resources in the woman's womb. that's murder at the most basic, most intimate level.

remember the indian man who was pregnant with his brother for 30 years? his brother was human, with an apparent will to live. you see, he cannibalized his twin in utero. only the twin refused to die. the twin tenaciously clung to life by stowing away in his brother's stomach for the next 30 years, until he grew too big to go unnoticed.

this just goes to show you that anyone who tells you that all life is sacred has their head seriously up their ass.

going to new jersey!

for what, you may ask? to sell my eggs silly! a couple wants my eggs, and they shall have it, for a price of course.

i'm really excited. i know i have a food and travel stipend coming my way, and i'll be using it to pay for a rental car to drive to new york. i've never been in new york, so i'm pretty excited. i definitely want to visit some of the hole in the wall restaurants, see if the food is worth all the fuss.

i really should say that i'm going to new york instead. i'm just using jersey as a stopover, really. all the fuss about the people who want my eggs living there and such.

hall of fame

first things first...i just turned 31 yesterday. it was nice, believe it or not. what sucks is the heartburn.

i am getting slammed with work, so posting has been very spotty, as if you guys haven't noticed. it's all about establishing the groundwork for my career. basically, i want to write, act, direct, edit, and photograph. that's a lot, isn't it? but that's what i want. i won't stop until i get it.

in the meantime, here's some of my best posts, with a little commentary.

men who lactate: my newest obsession
men you can literally milk really fascinate me.

the beginning of brokeback basketball
i flex my skill in writing gay sports themed erotica.

yao ming and dirk nowitzki: the forbidden encounter
i remember feeling gloriously alive when i wrote this post. after i wrote this, i thought to myself: i think i just fucking climbed mount everest. you know how proud i was to have written this piece of sports themed gay smut? let me tell you, after writing this post, i just HAD to take out my magic wand. the giddiness was so infectuous...i was so sweet to everyone around me for a whole week. i mas emailed this post to friends and family...i was so dizzy with pride. bar none the best post i have ever written.

the political female
why gender is just social bullshit.

objectification: is it always wrong?
why wanting to be treated like an object is neither a feminie nor masculine character trait. i make my case that dominance and submission are not tied to gender or biology, but to individual personality and preference. i also make the contention that dominance and submission is a false binary.

a fantasy
what happens when i get the power to achieve my goals?

dear matt sanchez
i ask a melanin rich, man loving, latino conservative republican male where i can purchase his gay porn movies.

respect and fear
this is why i will always be more in awe of viruses and insects than i ever will be of any human being.

a hot dream
i scare even more readers with this piece

the lockerroom voyeur
the comment section contains some nice accounts.

the militant feminist
why feminism is not "anti-fun" or anti-male.

content ownership: this is where the talent really takes it up the ass (and not in the good way either)
this stirred up alot of controversy. there were some people who mistook my demand for reform and regulation as "antisex" and antiporn. fucking idiots.

gender blender
more on the plasticity of gender

my personal ban on straight porn
i make the case that buying gay porn is the ethical choice.

unjured
i suffer a temporary illness that prevents me from typing the letter i.

something a friend needs to accept
non negotioable things you need to accept if we can remain friends

the unmarriagable one
this is why i'll make a shitty wife.

old. very old.

i am recovering from massive heartburn from an eating binge yesterday. i puked about an hour ago, and i only feel a smidgen better. there was too much lobster, too much lamb chops. where has all the fun gone in my life? well, i couldn't burn the candle at both ends any longer, could i?

yes, i know. how boring. no more tales that make me interesting. my pegging and fisting days are over, and frankly, i don't miss them.

you could say that my outlook has really changed. right now, i am most worried about my eyesight. i've accepted that i'm an old fogie when it comes to my sex drive nowadays. but my bad vision is really starting to scare me. for years, i didn't care that i was practically blind without my contacts. now that i'm a photographer, i worry that my eyesight will dwindle away to nothing. no offense to happy blind people, but i'd rather die than go blind. i'm not kidding.

i hate that i'm getting so morbid. that i worry about my physical capabilities. but that's what old age does to you. i think about the nasty things that could happen to me, and loss of eyesight would definitely kill any will to live for me.

if this downer post doesn't kill my readership, i don't know what will.